Across the Spectrum:The Interdisciplinary Life and Letters of John G. Neihardt (‘Flaming Rainbow’)

There is something I've wanted to say to you and I've feared to say it until now, for it could easily seem us more than sentimental trifling with your sorrow. Now you are slowly emerging, I feel, and I'm going to say it. Incidentally, I'm no preacher, & God knows I need plenty said to me all the time by way of keeping me from going totally blind.

You say "it all seems so unfair to Flo, who liked so well to be alive". Well, how do you know she is not overwhelmingly more alive than you are? I'm convinced that she is. You shy from this, & you do so largely because of your memories of the dogmatization of your boyhood, which of course you had to throw away. I do not mean anything religious in any going sense, and I don't mean to offer you any psychological dope for your deep pain. This world is only blindness. It is not capable of representing the truth about anything really vital. Only authentic mystics have ever approached the truth about anything.

I'll quit here & make this suggestion: When next you go to New York, find out what medium there seems to have the most respectable reputation among psychical researchers. If you care to do so, even get in touch with Hereward Carrington & ask him to recommend a medium. Then see that medium & get a "reading". You may have the surprise of your life.

More than half a century ago F. W. H. Myers & his friend Sedgwick were walking together at night & both were in despair over the loss of their old faith. Both were men of the finest fibre, cultivated to the finger tips. No two men in England could have been more what should meant by the term "educated". Myers said to Sedgwick: "Do you suppose that there is even the slightest likelihood that something might be learned by going into the alleged phenomena of mediumship?" — or words to that effect. Sedgwick thought the chances appeared pretty poor & both knew what would happen to their reputations if they should fool with such things. But they had no other hope & they grasped at the one straw. They learned vastly more than most people realize or are able to admit.

Well, you too are fine & truly educated. You need not fear to be a fool along with Myers & Sedgwick. And would you not feel less foolish by being, for a little while, a fool along with me?

Try this. What we see here is all illusion. Having tried one medium, try two more, after careful inquiry as to their standing in psychical research circles. I wish you would do this — and blame me for the folly if it should end in nothing for you.

P.S.

I've just received a big batch of reviews from all over the country — more than 50. I'm surprised at the good words, very much surprised. Even Time praises the book. Some New York clique meanness has emerged, but not much, & sensible people can eventually see through that. If Black Elk will only sell enough to free me a bit from the old money fear, so that I may push ahead, complete the Cycle and "die"! I want to go on. I am sick of spelling "cat" and adding 2 and 2. I want to get into the First Grade.

As for tears always being self-pity, don't you believe it. No more than wine pressed from grapes is an indication that the grapes feel sorry for themselves — a bad figure, but not too far fetched. Good God! We are not made well for standing the tortures that must come to us. It's a wonder we ever get past 30, much less 50 years. I don't see you as any such weakling.

I love you, Comrade, & so often I need to see your face glow & to feel your arm around my shoulder.