3 type-written pages
Media: type
Media: black ink
I have read "Feet of Clay" several times and I like it, in spite of certain objections that I must raise.
You will understand that there could be no advantage to me in speaking to you without perfect sincerity. and you will not suspect that I feel myself under the least obligation to please you. As a matter of
You write extraordinarily well, and you would write better if you did not try so hard. I mean by this that you overstress your emphases. In your letter accompanying the manuscript you state that the opening chapter is and I am sure that two paragraphs would be enough for your purpose. The chief difficulty that you must overcome is over-writing. You have not yet thought of words as though you were obliged to buy them at a dollar apiece (or maybe ten dollars, since I do not know what your ette
On page four there is evidencewrite, when you say "where Quietude held her peaceful dominion". Clearly the adjective was used without careful consideration. You wasted it
"Of Making Many Books"
JOHN G. NEIHARDT
BRANSON, MISSOURI
If you will go through this story, keeping in mind this chief fundamental criticism of your method, I am sure that you will be able to cut the story down considerably in length, and by doing so, you will not detract from the resultant power of it; on the contrary, you will increase that power greatly. Many writers have too little language power for their purposes. Your difficulty is that you have too much--and use it. Don't write up to your capacity. Always try to keep a margin of reserve, for power is in the margin.
I was genuinely interested in your scheme for the story as outlined in your letter. You go at the matter of building a story in the right way, but you do not altogether achieve the end you seek. The ending of your story is cleverly conceived but the power of your conception does not reach the reader. It is good strategy to leave as much to suggestion as possible, but the author should be careful that the suggestion really suggests to the average reader, and your suggestion does not do this. I get what you mean in your denouement, but I have the advantage of your own explanation and perhaps of a literary experience not common to the general public. I was expecting you to do something clever at the end, and as I read I was helping you to create that ending. I was, in fact, your enthusiastic ally, for I wanted you to succeedin making a powerful I am sure that you will have to re-write that ending, introducing the sort of suggestion that will enable the average reader to know the relationships of the various actors in the tragedy.
You really have an excellent story here; but climax will make this story excellent.
I hope you that I am sincerely interested in what you are undertaking to do. I am not trying to earn money. I would have said the same things to you without If you want to ask me any questions about any details If you should re-write the story in keeping with the suggestions I have made, I should be very glad to see it again, and if you care to send me another story or two, I shall be glad to read them