Got to Be Stopped

THE SALVATION OF MANKIND FROM CATASTROPHES. By Richard Rodrian. (Solar Publications, N. Y.)

[?] [ ? dering ] the natural catas-[?] with which mankind has[?] for so many ages and the [?] unreasonable spells of[?] with which the world is [?] it must be apparent to [?] [ ? born ] citizen of the planet [?] such things have just about [?] long enough. In the old [?] prescientific times, before [?] incandescent enlightenment burst upon us, we used to [?] all such things in a spirit [?] hushed humility. It never occurred to us in those days, so [?] we were by our own dark [?] that there might be some [?] impudent about such [?] [ ? ological ] upstarts as torna-[?] It never occurred to us to [?] earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, hard winters, burning summers and the like.

But now that we have become relatively modern, highly critical and nothing if not scientific, it begins to appear that we are in no mood to temporize much longer with the distinctly criminal tendencies of this cosmos. Something has got to be done about it; and if another amendment to the Constitution should seem advisable, or some sort of gentleman’s agreement among the nations — or both — than the sooner done the better.

It seems, however, that no such action will be necessary. The casual read of the news must have noted that always when a [?] question arises, there merges [?] mind to give the conclusive answer. For instance, a little while ago war was a terrifying [?], threatening the very foundations of our humanitarian civilization. What happened? Kellogg [?], and now war is no longer thinkable. It was exactly the same in the [?] of the Demon Rum. Finished forever!

And now there emerges a master mind to tell tornadoes, cyclones, hurricanes, floods, drouths, blizzards, earthquakes, tidal waves, [?] winters, volcanic eruptions and the like just where to get off. Why soon we may witness the gratifying spectacle of a black-funneled twister getting itself run in for disorderly conduct; and any [?]-mad earthquake caught doing [?] shimmy in civilized parts will have to take the consequences.

The master mind, in this instance, belongs to one Richard Rodrian who, like everybody else, has written an epoch-making book and, unlike a negligible number of authors, has had his book printed. Mr. Rodrian has evidently made one of those discoveries that are destine to revolutionize, etc. He is an all around scientist and he has been psycho-analyzing our planet and the celestial bodies adjacent thereto. As a result, he knows positively how to put a stop to all this natural catastrophe business. He confesses that he knows and he doesn’t mean maybe. Also, he tells. The mere layman will not understand, but that only makes his explanation the more convincing. It is all about the earth’s in’ards and the way they wobble about in there. There’s something radically wrong, and what’s radically wrong Mr. Rodrian can fix very easily, if only he can get enough subscriptions to build suitable meteorological stations all over the earth. He’d be willing to start with one, but he can’t guarantee the best results with one only.

“I say frankly,” remarks Mr. Rodrian, with the modesty of the great, “I say frankly that I can do it. But in order to do this, to be responsible to God and humanity, it requires the establishment of the first station with suitable facilities; it requires a thorough co-operation from others, which I believe can be best achieved through an organization of thousands of men and women in all parts of the country, interested in the welfare of humanity and willing to join in the plan proposed by me.”

It is to be hoped that get-together meetings may be held in all communities very soon that this latest crying need may be taken in hand, for Mr. Rodrian feels the delay very keenly. “Every time I read the newspapers,” he says “about weather and natural catastrophes, cyclones, floods, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and all the destruction and suffering they cause human beings, I feel most depressed and somewhat guilty for not having done something.”